It is almost impossible to have an honest and open dialog with anyone who has a positive mindset and a strong self-esteem. Those who have a negative self-image and lack self-confidence often avoid the situations that require them to address their weaknesses. They avoid even having those weaknesses acknowledged! In contrast, those who have a healthy self-esteem are quite happy to see themselves in a positive light and are more likely to see the good in other people and things.
Conversely, when it comes to self-esteem vs. ego, those who have low self-confidence often have an over-inflated ego that can cause them to avoid any situation that requires self examination or observation. On the other hand, those who have high self-esteem and confidence are rarely caught off guard by any sort of new circumstances. They are able to absorb and analyze their thoughts and feelings at a very high rate. This enables them to make the necessary adjustments in their thought processes and behavior without being troubled by the weaknesses that others might point out.
Let’s look at these two concepts in a little more detail. The first thing that needs to be understood is that there is a difference between confidence and over-confidence. Overconfidence is a mental state where an individual believes that he or she is so far ahead of everyone else in every situation that there is no room for error or risk. This can lead to arrogant behaviors that are actually deceptive. Those who are truly confident have a different take on life that involves being modest and realistic about what life has in store for them.
Self-esteem, on the other hand, involves accepting and being proud of your own abilities. Self-esteem, which is related to confidence, also encompasses positive self talk, which is the talk you have with yourself about how you are doing. When you are talking to yourself about your capabilities, you are actually comparing yourself to the best possible version of yourself. You are acknowledging your value as an individual. The idea that there is room for improvement applies to self-esteem as well.
It isn’t uncommon to hear people say things like, “My ego just won’t quit.” This attitude describes the way many individuals see themselves. To them, even small or insignificant changes, if they don’t happen to be big or impressive enough, can cancel out all of their prior efforts. In their minds, if they have been able to build up self-esteem, then it won’t matter what they do in the future. They will continue to build and strengthen their ego until there is nothing left but perfection.
Those who have built up their self-esteem, however, are very aware of how they feel. They recognize that small victories add up over time and can turn into a large victory the next day. By contrast, those who are insecure are perpetually worried about small things. Their self-esteem is based upon these irrational fears. They doubt their own abilities and are quick to pick at their failures or others.
If you want to build up your self-esteem, you need to pick up your game. Start exercising the mind that gives you confidence. Read motivational books that give you positive reinforcement and don’t focus so much on the negative aspects of others or your past. The more you focus on the positives in each situation, the better you will feel about yourself.
Self-esteem and ego can both be boosted. You must find the balance that works best for you. The more confident you are, the more self-esteem you will have. The higher self-esteem you have the more confidence you will have. Use these self-confidence boosters wisely.