A great way to understand narcissism is by looking at the self-esteem and democratic norms. If you are a narcissist, then your entire concept of ‘esteem’ is one of self-interest and the pursuit of self-interest. You need to keep people around you happy and you want them to think that they are good, successful and smart. This is why you have a great need for admiration, attention and approval. As far as the definition of self-esteem goes, it’s based on personal opinion and an abstract attitude.
Conversely, if you consider yourself a democratic person, then your concept of self-esteem is one of acceptance and empathy. You want to help people, but not feel like you have to give anything in return. This is not to say that there isn’t a place for self-esteem in our world. It plays an important role in building strength and character and is certainly necessary to building successful careers and living satisfactory lives. However, when it gets in the way of living and loving professionally, it gets a bad name and gets castigated as self-absorption and entitlement. So, when a narcissist behaves in a caring, compassionate, nurturing manner, they are being self-absorbed – not self-indulgent.
However, those who are the closest to narcissistic self-esteem usually don’t suffer from symptoms of low self-esteem or narcissism. They are also not likely to be the self-indulgent type of person, either. The closest description of these people is – they love themselves and enjoy having their lives soothed and complimented. And they love the fact that they are not viewed as competent, right-wing authoritarianizers, either.
The narcissistic personality disorder is different from normal personality disorders because its characteristics do not arise from genuine psychological needs. Narcissistic personality disorder arises from behaviors that are driven by a need to have control over others. These behaviors often come from a place of dissatisfaction or pain within the individual. It generally comes to the surface at some point during childhood or adolescence and manifests through an inability to establish adequate connections with others and a dependence on the self. In its most severe forms, it can result in criminal behavior, manipulation of others, lying, and extreme self-preoccupation.
Low self-esteem is the polar opposite of narcissism. When you are lacking in self-esteem, you may be overly concerned with how other people see you and overly focused on their opinions. You may view yourself as somewhat less than successful and self-deprecating. You are also likely to have unrealistic expectations of yourself and set unreasonable standards for yourself to expect of others. Low self-esteem is a crucial issue to eliminate when working on self-esteem vs. narcissism.
Self-esteem issues are not easy to work on. Many people are convinced that they know how to fix them and feel that they are somehow defective or bad people. This makes people who suffer from self-esteem issues feel that they are unworthy and unlovable. This negativity will affect all aspects of their lives from work to relationships to family relationships.
Learning to deal with self-esteem vs. narcissism requires diligence and patience. You need to really hear the words that you say and believe that you are worthy of the things that you desire in life. A good starting place may be to challenge negative assumptions you have about yourself and your capabilities. Once you start to believe that you have the ability to do whatever you put your mind to, you can begin the process of eliminating self-esteem vs. narcissism. There are many programs, books and therapists available to help you do this.
Your health is very important. If you are carrying a narcissistic personality disorder, you should see your doctor regularly to ensure that your mental health is optimal. Narcissistic personality disorder is a serious mental health issue that if not addressed could lead to severe depression and even suicide. Eliminating self-esteem from your life will only get you so far.