What exactly is assertiveness? It is not always that easy to identify really assertive behavior among people. This is because there is a fine line separating assertiveness from aggression, and we can often confuse the two as well. Thus, it is useful to clearly define both these behaviors so as to clearly distinguish them:
According to most studies, assertiveness or self-confidence is actually a positive attribute when it comes to interpersonal communication. This is also reflected in business relationships, wherein assertiveness is highly regarded as an indicator of success. This is mainly because assertiveness is basically the willingness to take risks and be creative and proactive in order to achieve one’s goals. Thus, people who are successful in life tend to be aggressive too, but they manage their aggressive tendencies in a more constructive way. However, there will be times when an assertive person will abuse their creativity and boldness by crossing the boundaries of polite social etiquette, and this is when such behaviors can become problematic.
While it is true that assertiveness is a positive attribute, passive people are also capable of expressing their opinions, but they are careful not to show it too much. One of the main reasons why assertive people will tend to over-verbate their thoughts or actions is due to the fact that they are aware that they might be subject to criticism, thus they try to be as confident as possible. Meanwhile, passive people will usually take things for granted and will rarely express what they really feel. And when this happens, passive people may also tend to have problems with their emotions, especially if they are unable to effectively communicate their feelings.
As you can see, both passive and aggressive behaviors have their own advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, one should learn how to properly balance out these behaviors if he/she wants to successfully interact with others. It is important to realize that everyone has his/her own personal style, and there are no hard and fast rules that you need to follow. All you need to do is to determine which style works best for you, depending on your personality type. So, just take a look at your personality type and figure out which of the following styles fits your personality:
If you are the extroverted type, then you will probably find yourself doing most of the talking and acting out, whereas if you are the quieter type, you will probably prefer to sit back and let others do most of the talking and acting. There are even people who consider that there is no right or wrong way to behave; it’s just a matter of which personality style works for you. However, most assertive people would agree that being assertive is not always easy, because you need to exert some energy and force in order to get your point across to others. So, how do you manage this assertiveness? There are several techniques that you can use to effectively assert your point of view.
Remember that assertiveness can be both aggressive and respectful at the same time. In this case, it is important that you know how to appropriately express yourself, especially if you are dealing with someone who is aggressive. Being assertive is usually good, but you need to learn how to properly express it at the same time so you can effectively communicate with people.