Many people have different views on the question of how to build your self-esteem vs. confidence. Some will tell you that this is not a question of confidence but rather just a lack of confidence. They believe that those who lack confidence are low in self-esteem and that lack of confidence is something you can’t buy. This line of thinking is correct in a sense. There are things you can work on to increase your confidence.
However, in most cases you don’t really need to work on your self-esteem. In fact you should work on building your confidence instead. Confidence has to come from within. If you learn to trust your own abilities and strengths, then your confidence will build without your having to change yourself at all. Rather than saying I’m not confident, I’ll try something different or I’m not good enough, I’ll try these instead:
o Try to do your best every time. When you do your best and you get rewarded, this increases your self-belief. People don’t always reward you for doing a bad job. However, if you do your very best each time you’re given the chance, you’re showing your ability to work toward your goal.
o Put yourself in situations where your confidence and skills can be tested. This doesn’t mean you have to do ridiculous things like push a cart wheel while standing on one leg. It simply means that when you’re given an opportunity, you should put your all into it. For example, imagine being on an important presentation. Imagine the reaction of the other audience members, if you mess up. This puts you in the shoes of the audience member and allows you to gain more understanding and confidence.
o Give yourself credit where it is due. When people give you credit for a good job, they’re showing that you do care about the results and want to do well. This builds your character and gives you a good foundation to work with. You should also take the initiative to thank people when they’ve given you credit for a job well done. This demonstrates your leadership qualities and makes others see you as someone who considers their opinions seriously.
o Look at what you have accomplished in the past. Remembering your past achievements and accomplishments builds self-esteem because you look at your past success as a blueprint for future success. Many times we set goals and then fail to reach them because we focus so much on failure. Focus on your successes and achievements and you’ll start seeing yourself in a new light. You’ll begin to think of yourself as someone who is capable of doing great things.
o Be willing to change. Nothing is set in stone. You need to be willing to change and adapt when the circumstances change. If you are afraid of failing or of being criticized for a small thing, change the subject or move on.
Your self-esteem and confidence are intertwined. The more confident you think you are, the more you believe that you are worthy of success. This feeds into each trait and increases your self-esteem. Self-esteem and confidence go hand-in-hand and can help you achieve more in life.
o Give yourself some credit. Not everyone is born with the ability to succeed. There are always people who work harder than others, know more about something, or have more resources than you do. You have resources too. Use them to your advantage. When you recognize your own successes and achievements and you feel good about yourself, this will increase your self-esteem.
o Keep your guard up. You need to guard your self-esteem and confidence at all costs. If you let these values slip, they will certainly get stolen from you. Hold them tight and know that they are safe.
Your personality is the starting point for everything that you do. If you don’t start out with a positive attitude, you won’t have any self-esteem or confidence to build on. The more confident and positive you are the easier things will become. Once you have a firm grasp on your personality, work hard to develop your character.