It’s a classic psychological battle, the war between the self-esteem and the ego. Ego is always on the outside looking in. The self-esteem is what we think of when we speak of a positive self-image or ‘confidence.’ And it’s easy to see why there can be such tension between these two very distinct areas of the personality. After all, what’s the difference between confidence and arrogance?
How do you know what’s more important, your confidence or your self-esteem? There are many different answers to this question, but in general, those who score higher in the confidence category tend to be more successful. In some ways, they’re just the opposite of the ego-strokes: confident people don’t feel threatened by other people, or by anything that might challenge their ego. And that’s where the tension and struggle often lie.
When you put someone on a self-esteem scale, ask them to rate how high they rank on the scale on a 10-point scale, with one being extremely high and the other extremely low. Then ask them how much they agreed with those answers. If the answer was high, then their level of self-esteem was very high. Conversely, if the answer was very low, then their level of self-esteem was very low. It’s similar to measuring self-respect.
There’s no easy way to sum it up here, but in general, on the whole, self-esteem goes hand-in-hand with ego. But what separates the two is the strength with which they support each other. Ego is the overriding self-concern and motivation. Self-esteem is based on appreciation and trust in one’s own ability. When there is doubt about one’s abilities, self-esteem often suffers. And so you have the perfect combination for success or failure.
The ego is the cause of fear and failure in a person who lacks self-esteem. It’s almost as if the more a person thinks that he is great, the more he thinks he needs to excel. But in fact, if ego was the cause of success, everyone would be outstanding. But we know that doesn’t happen. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is the cause of excellence.
To some extent, success is a matter of chance. But that doesn’t mean that any person can’t make a lot of money if he wants to. And there are plenty of people who aren’t successful because of ego. A truly successful person has to be at peace with himself and if he’s not, that peace won’t allow him to become successful.
In order to succeed, self-esteem has to be high. If it’s low, you’ll have a lot of “I don’t deserve it” feelings and that’ll prevent you from becoming successful. On the other hand, if your self-esteem is too high (especially after achieving something) you’ll feel that you’ve accomplished too much and that you’re just a lucky person. It’s like an “I can’t do that” mentality. And this will keep you from taking action and improving yourself.
The bottom line is that you must find a happy medium where ego isn’t a dominating factor so you can achieve your goals. And self-esteem, when it’s high, helps. But when it’s too high, that peace won’t allow you to do the things that are necessary for success. Self-esteem is the cornerstone for success and without it, you won’t get very far.
So, what are the important things to work on in order to raise self-esteem? There are two main things: the first is that you must make sure that you love who you are. The second thing is that you need to do things that make you feel good about yourself. We all have things that we’re really unhappy with – but that’s where the focus needs to be. By focusing on the things that you’re grateful for – instead of focusing on the negative – you’ll be able to use self-esteem as a motivational tool to overcome the obstacles that you face in your journey to success.
Another important aspect to consider is your attitude toward success. There are many people who have a negative attitude towards achieving their goals. This is unhealthy and can hold you back in the long run. So, the first thing that you need to do is to work on changing your mindset to see success as something that you can have – and not something that you have to have.
In order to increase your self-esteem vs. ego, you must first become the person that you want to be. Work on changing your negative self-talk and replace it with positive talk about your capabilities. Talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how great you look today. If you can do this, you’ll soon find that you have higher self-esteem than you ever imagined possible.