In The Big Picture: On Self-Evaluation and the Right Way to Get It, Donald Trump sets forth his case for why “narcissistic leadership” is not compatible with democracy. In essence, Trump is saying that narcissists lack the self-esteem or the ability to love what they are doing. In fact, Trump is accusing establishmentarian politicians and media pundits of acting like “self-willed robots” who have no compassion for anyone or anything else. Further, Trump charges that this kind of self-interest leads to double standards in moral conduct and policies, double-talk, and hypocrisy. Further, Trump contends that such leaders and their followers do not believe in or care about their fellow humans.
These charges against the self-regulating human behavior may seem on the surface to be criticisms of left-wing authoritarianism. However, the truth is that the values set forth by Trump and his supporters are a result of decades of social dominance and exploitation by the very people who now oppose him. Such people have engaged in unprovoked attacks on US citizens and have used propaganda to spread negative opinions about the US, its people, and their nation. As a result, many Americans believe that a narcissist behaves like a social domination and is not capable of loving his fellow humans. Yet, what many people do not know is that this charge of hypocrisy is a red Herring.
The reality is that narcissists are nothing like Trump or those who support him. As a matter of fact, there are many individuals who are extremely wealthy and successful who still have a healthy self-esteem. Those who have been victims of narcissistic manipulation and abuse are typically mentally ill and lack the self-discipline necessary to effectively set forth an agenda that will benefit the human race and the United States in particular.
As a result, we end up with a choice between a narcissist and someone who believe in social justice – two peas in a pod. The good news is that the former is often a pathological liar and abuser while the latter has always been a victim of bullies and is usually a closet sympathizer. The only difference is that the latter is willing to use guilt as a shield in order to get what he or she wants from society – while the narcissist merely uses the concept of “free will” to get people to do his bidding without regard for consequences. In short, the narcissist lacks self-discipline. But this does not mean that the person is a better person than the left-wingers who engage in political rhetoric. It just means that two ideologies have slightly different definitions when it comes to defining what it means to be a good person.
In other words, we are better off going with the definition of self-esteem vs. narcissism as the best option. Yes, narcissists can be convincing. But they are not usually convincing enough! They simply lie about their intentions, goals and achievements in order to manipulate others. On the other hand, individuals who place a great amount of value and importance on themselves – regardless of whether they know how to communicate properly – are generally not manipulative and generally have higher self-esteem.
Therefore, if you want to deal with self-esteem vs. narcissism in your personal or business life, it would be important to realize that in the long run, you are much better served by getting rid of the narcissist and choosing to have higher self-esteem in the first place. When the self-esteem goes up, so too does the person’s ability to make informed decisions and be more assertive. It is also more likely that he or she will have realistic expectations about the relationship he or she will have with others. Being in such an environment and working with people who place a high value on themselves – even if they sometimes – would improve a person’s chances of making wise decisions and reaching his or her goals. After all, it is impossible to have goals and values that are based on nothing else but “you” and “I.”
In fact, you owe it to yourself and to those who love and care about you to find a way to stop comparing yourself to others and become more focused on what you have to offer and what you are passionate about. When you begin this shift, it will be easier for you to be assertive. When you start being assertive, you will find that you are happier, healthier, calmer, and more capable of handling even the most difficult situations. You will also realize that you do not have to victimize yourself in order to succeed. In fact, you may very well find that you actually derive satisfaction from standing up for yourself – especially when the needs of others are not met.
If you are dealing with self-esteem vs. narcissism in your own life and in the lives of those with whom you interact, you may be wondering how to resolve the problem. It is important for you to understand that no matter how strong your self-esteem is right now, it can be destroyed. Once it is destroyed, however, it can take a very long time, if ever, for you to rebuild it. Narcissistic leaders know that their power comes from their ability to control others, so they use their position of power to control those around them – often using manipulation as a means of obtaining that power.