The confidence or self-esteem is the one thing that remains constant in life – positive or negative. But is it possible to have too much of one and not a enough of the other? It seems that many people believe they are at the crossroads between confidence and self-esteem, with the choice between being a confident and self-respecting “good person” on one end and an arrogant “not so good” person on the other. This article will help you identify what might be going on in your own mind and, hopefully, get you over the “confidence or self-esteem” dilemma.
Let’s start with self-esteem vs. confidence. What is it that makes us feel good about ourselves? Is it the sense of achievement, the feeling of having accomplished something? Or is it more indirect, through the feelings we have when we think we look good, are complimented on our appearance, and are taken seriously as someone of worth who radiates happiness and success?
For me, I think self-esteem and confidence are intertwined – too closely for comfort – and need to be balanced. To feel better about myself, I think I should put some thoughts into practice that foster confidence. One thing I do is keep a journal of my successes and setbacks, noting how I feel when I do not succeed. That can help me focus on my strengths and work towards achieving my goals.
Self-esteem also inspires me to be more assertive with others and myself. When I am confident I am willing to let others know where my strengths lie, but when I lack confidence, I am afraid to be vulnerable. I don’t want others to take advantage of me! I work hard at having confidence in myself and with my talents. I may not be confident enough to ask for help when I need it, but I definitely believe that if I have it, then others will too. That helps me feel better about myself and others.
Self-esteem and confidence are intertwined because we all want to be perceived as better human beings than we are. When I am confident, I give others permission to treat me in a certain way that they will find acceptable. When I lack confidence, I may put up a wall against what others might consider wrong with me. That doesn’t make me a bad person – I’m just afraid of what might happen if I allow myself to be affected by the opinions or judgments of others.
It’s hard enough to be self-aware enough to realize when someone is making a negative comment about you, but we also have to be able to recognize ourselves in those comments. In addition, we have to know that all people – especially those whom we love – can see right through us. So it’s a good idea to speak up when we think we are being spoken to in a harsh or uncaring manner. It can also help to avoid situations where we will inevitably have to speak out or defend ourselves.
Self-esteem and confidence are related because a person with high levels of confidence is usually a happier person. A person who believes he or she is a better person is likely to actually feel better. That is why it can sometimes be a better idea not to tell anyone how we really feel. We might actually be afraid that if we express ourselves, we will be criticized or judged negatively. We don’t want to feel like an idiot and we certainly don’t want to make others feel that way either.
If you have high self-esteem and confidence, then you will most likely be happier than those who have low levels of those two emotions. You will have more opportunities available to you. You will also have better luck with the things you do and the people you meet. You might even find yourself with more money than you thought possible. Keep in mind that all of these things take time and effort to build up. So even though your confidence may be high right now, you must work at building it up over time.