How Can Assertiveness Improve Communication?

As someone who has been working on my street psychics and spiritual guidance, I have come to believe that assertiveness is a very important part of the process. If you are a client in any sort of therapy or work with a psychic medium then it is essential that you learn and practice assertiveness. Many people think that assertiveness is about ego and self-pity. This is not true! You see, assertiveness is not about masking your feelings but rather about respecting and loving yourself.

For example: Imagine that you are a shy person. Now imagine that you try to communicate your shyness through a repetitive, uninteresting, monotonous conversation style. Now imagine that you consciously use assertiveness and you learn to communicate your self-confidence and love. This would be a great communication style, as it would allow you to truly listen to your intuition and convey the message of confidence and power.

So what are the dangers of passive, aggressive or fearful behaviour? Well, firstly, passive and aggressive behaviour masks our real feelings; it prevents us from receiving affirmation, feedback and understanding. When we use this sort of non-verbal messaging, we undermine our own power and ability to influence and control the energy of any given situation. When people constantly send these messages, we often end up feeling intimidated and uncomfortable in almost every situation. As you can imagine this can have an enormous negative impact on your self-esteem and self-perception. It is also very difficult to change and recover from passive, aggressive and fearful behaviour.

The other dangers of passive, aggressive and fearful behaviour is that it can make us feel internally displaced, removed from our own life. If we are always behaving in ways that are not congruent with our own values, goals and desires, this can have a profound effect on our self-image and our sense of self-worth. Once we believe that we do not have control over our own lives, we can feel permanently excluded from all matters relating to ourselves and our own future. This sort of self-sabotage can have a detrimental effect on our self-belief and our self-esteem.

And speaking of self-belief, if we cannot effectively communicate our own positive beliefs and values to the world, how can we expect others to do so? How can we expect others to see our transparent, authentic behaviour and expressions, when we are unable to do the same? It is true that we may not like to think about it, but the reality is that passive, aggressive and fearful behaviour hides our true, internal feelings and thoughts – until we are ready to express them, and assertiveness helps us do just that!

Passive, aggressive and fearful behaviour masks our true feelings and emotions; it therefore makes it difficult to communicate effectively. The first step to improving your assertiveness skills is to make sure that you are paying attention to how you feel, both in reaction to what is happening to you and also when you are looking at yourself in the mirror. A good exercise is to practice reflexology: focus your eyes on a spot on your skin – do this several times, then look away, followed by focus back again. Pay attention to your reactions, particularly how you feel when you do something that you dislike or are afraid of doing. You will gradually become aware of when you are holding negative thoughts and emotions – then, decide to clear them, and focus on your actions. This is one of the many reasons why assertiveness is so important in communication – not only will you communicate more effectively, you will also have an increased sense of self-worth and confidence because of your better, more active eye contact with the other person.