The question, “What’s your self-esteem?” is as valid as the question, “Who’s your favorite actor?” – it’s a matter of personal preference. I prefer ego (personified in my imagination) over self (personified in my heart) and therefore I am what I am. But when you ask, “What’s your self-esteem?” you’re not just sizing up one or the other, you’re interested in both.
You see, I’m an egoistic survivor. I’ve had much pain and anxiety, but I’ve always bounced back. When I’m down, I’m not depressed or sad. I’m composed and determined to do well. My “ego” is strong enough to overcome the challenges that life brings, but it’s also flexible enough to be able to let go of the victim role and become the creator of my own destiny.
Now, that doesn’t mean that I’m perfect (no one is) and I don’t take credit for having the skills and experience necessary to succeed. I do take responsibility for what I do, where I go and who I am. That’s who I am. What separates me from others is my ability to control and limit ego (and it’s occasional partner, the other one). It keeps me in balance and leads to self-esteem.
Self-esteem isn’t something you’re born with. Self-esteem is something you work on and build over time. It’s built by accepting yourself for who you are and celebrate your good. It’s not something you’re taught, it’s something that you learn by experience and intuition. It’s a daily practice, just like any habit.
If you’re worried about “dressing up” and making yourself look good, stop that right now. That will only make you feel worse about yourself. You’ll be less inclined to do the things you need to do to raise your self-esteem. To raise your ego, focus on doing the little things, the things that make you feel good about yourself.
If your goal is to be the best you can be in every area of your life, then forget the labels and the limiting thoughts. Take a look at yourself in the mirror. Can you say that you’re the best you can be? If not, then that’s another story.
With self-esteem, you’ll also learn that you don’t have to spend all your time and money in order to be happy. Focus on the good things that you do, and let the good feelings accompany those good things. The universe wants to give you happiness, no matter what it takes. Give it to her. She’ll give it to you in spades.
So, what’s the final score when it comes to the question of how to raise your self-esteem vs. ego? Well, it all depends on you. What works for one person might not work for you. It all comes down to your personality. Just keep loving yourself and dwelling on the good stuff and you’ll find yourself with a better self-esteem.
Ego is one of those things that you can’t help it to get higher. You either have it or you don’t. But if you are able to change one little thing – for example if you can stop yourself from saying, “I can’t,” or “It’s impossible,” – you’ll have transformed your ego for ever. Your ego will be permanently reduced to nothing.
Self-esteem will keep you going in life. It keeps you motivated. If you have a lack of self-esteem, then you will be more motivated to do things that are worthwhile. And when you are doing worthwhile things, chances are you’ll be doing them because you feel good about yourself. Good feelings do great things.
If you have a healthy self-esteem and a good attitude, then there’s absolutely nothing that can stand in front of you. Anything that you do will just flow off the cuff. When your ego takes a hit and thinks that you aren’t good enough or talented enough to pull it off, that’s when you start to have second thoughts and second-guessing yourself. You become afraid. Fear is the number one killer of self confidence.
Fear of what? Facing what you thought you could not do. Here’s a great metaphor, when you’re building your self-confidence, fear is the block of your success…