It is hard enough to deal with these limiting beliefs without adding more to the problem. These beliefs about yourself are usually what keeps us from getting what we really want out of life. Here are some of them that can be very limiting.
General Limiting Beliefs about Yourself: You aren’t smart or pretty enough. You aren’t pretty enough or smart enough to be successful. You aren’t young or old enough. You don’t have time or don’t have the talent.
One of my first self-limiting beliefs was that I wasn’t talented enough to do anything. As an adult I continued to believe this terrible self-limiting belief. As a child I believed it as well, and it’s a problem that I still struggle with today. As an adult, I learned that although I wasn’t talented or smart enough to be an artist or succeed in a business, I had a gift for something called “knowing how”. I had a natural ability to communicate and teach others how to do the things I was learning.
My second self limiting beliefs is that I’m not pretty enough or smart enough to be successful. This is a terrible self-image set up for adulthood. There are some of us that were born with a naturally good appearance, good eyebrows, straight hair and height, and no major defects. Some of us are more careful with our appearance, dress well, get complimented when we go out, and are successful in the areas of our life that we are most interested in. And some people have been less lucky. We may be fat, have low self-esteem, be unable to eat well, have low self-confidence, be sexually inexperienced, and/or suffer from mental illness.
The third belief I have is that I’m not good enough to be a successful leader or accomplish goals. Again, this comes from a self-limiting beliefs about myself. It’s a shame that our parents, siblings, and peers judge us on these self-defeating beliefs even if they aren’t true. But if we let ourselves believe these bad beliefs often enough, they become self-defeating behaviors that hinder our growth as we strive to be the best person we can be.
One of the ways I dealt with my self limiting beliefs was through journaling. I’d sit down every single morning and start writing about my accomplishments, observations, thoughts, ideas, concerns, and anything else I wanted to write about. After about a month of journaling, I noticed that I had new ideas for articles, speeches, and other things I could use to empower myself and help me grow as a person. One of the most amazing things I noticed was that my thoughts about myself were no longer limiting. Instead of thinking “I can’t do this,” “Why am I not good enough,” or “He’s going to leave me,” I began to think more positively.
Here’s what you can do next: whenever you feel yourself starting to argue with something you’re doing, stop yourself and replace it with another alternative idea. For example, instead of saying “I can’t do that,” say “That’s not possible for me. But I could do this.” Even though that’s just an example, I’ve seen this happen over when I was getting negative self-limiting beliefs about myself. Instead of “That’s not possible for me,” I would say “That’s not possible for me unless I do this.”
This isn’t about having dozens of self-limiting beliefs at once; it’s about making a decision to believe differently. It’s about understanding that the things we think often have much more to do with how we feel than what they actually are. To change your thinking, start by replacing one negative belief with a more positive one. If you aren’t there yet, start replacing the bad self limiting beliefs with more positive ones. As soon as you become aware of your tendency to argue all the time, change your mind by taking a different approach.