To answer the question, “Does narcissists’ self-esteem really make them feel special?” we first need to know more about narcissistic behaviors and their effects on the person with this personality disorder. Let’s start with a definition. narcissistic personality disorders are characterized by an inflated sense of self-worth (e.g., overestimate their abilities or comparing themselves to other people). They believe that they are superior to others and have little regard for other people’s feelings. They have no empathy and have no regard for other people’s needs and desires.
When someone with narcissistic personality disorder or a self-defined social dominance lacks self-esteem and higher self-evaluation, they cannot let go of their sense of social dominance. When they do let go of this sense of social dominance, it can trigger rage or hurt feelings from those who they perceive as having lower status. Narcissistic individuals use power and manipulation to gain control over relationships with others. They believe that they are entitled to a superior level of relationship intimacy and that they should not be expected to share this power with others. When they lack self-esteem, they are unable to let go of their sense of social dominance and cannot move on their own because of how they define themselves as a person.
So, the answer to the question, “Does narcissists’ self-esteem vs. social dominance actually make them feel special?” is no. In fact, they cannot let go of their sense of social dominance because it defines them as a person worthy of esteem, which they most certainly are not. This is one of the most important reasons why victims of narcissistic abuse often come back to the abuse, because they fail to take care of themselves because they do not feel worthy of being valued, which sets up a vicious cycle that causes them to struggle with healthy self-esteem when they try to do things in a healthy way.
In addition to the lack of self-esteem caused by narcissistic abuse, victims of right-wing authoritarianism also suffer from low self-esteem. The reason for this is that right-wing authoritarianism causes people to value right-wing opinions above other views. In this case, the victim feels forced to hold to an extreme version of right-wing ideology just to keep a social position. Victims of narcissistic abuse may have been degraded repeatedly into supporting the abuser’s opinions, even when the opinions they hold are at odds with the victim’s core beliefs and values. They do not feel capable of holding contradictory views, and so they are bound to suffer from low self-esteem.
Victims of left-wing authoritarianism are even more vulnerable to low self-esteem because their beliefs about their ability to lead a happy life are also very dependent upon their level of self-esteem. When they have low self-esteem, it becomes impossible for them to look up to themselves and to believe that they can achieve anything. They have to first build up the self-esteem that they need in order to feel confident enough to challenge those who abuse it. If the victim is not careful, then right-wing authoritarianism can make them a victim of narcissism.
To some extent, all victims of narcissism have the same problem: they try to make themselves look good, but their underlying fears and self-loathing make them afraid to do so. As a result, they cannot build up self-esteem and become competent enough to leave the abuser for even a simple task. Thus, they remain fixated on their fears of being abandoned by everyone. In many cases, people suffering from this condition are so desperate to avoid confrontation with their abusers that they do not even recognise or understand why they are so scared to be left by them.
Self-esteem building requires a lot of patience and endurance. It also takes a lot of sacrifice, courage and consistency from the victim’s side. However, if the victim has the courage to be strong and stand up for their beliefs, then they will be able to build up self-esteem and overcome narcissism. They will also be able to realise that if they want to regain the control over their lives, then it is important to gain control over narcissism first. Only then will they be able to eliminate its grip over their lives.
Many people have the wrong impression about self-esteem and narcissism. The perception that these two things are related is the reason why many people are intimidated by them. People with low self-esteem think too much about how they look like other people. They fail to realise that they have unique attributes that set them apart from everyone else, which is one of the reasons why they are able to attract narcissists. Narcissistic people often have high self-esteem, as they feel very good about themselves.